A Beginner’s Guide to Meditation

Meditation. You’ve heard every spiritual guru and lifestyle influencer mention it. They say it’s life changing and something everyone should do. 

            Maybe you’ve seen them showing their meditation space. Or they’ve talked about tips for how to start, but you’re still kind of lost. 

            Because it feels like you’re just supposed to jump into it by sitting in lotus position for an hour in the silence…and maybe you burn some incense while doing it….right? 

            That’s one way to approach meditation, and if you’re drawn to it then get after it. But it doesn’t have to be the only way. And it doesn’t have to be how you start. 

            At the beginning, I thought that was the goal. Getting rid of my thoughts for an hour. Gaining an attitude of complete bliss and contemplation. It sounded awesome. 

            And then I tried it. And I felt so frustrated that I couldn’t handle sitting and doing nothing for 10 minutes let alone 60. Was this really what meditation was all about? I thought it was supposed to help you de-stress, but there I was mentally fighting myself. 

            Which is when I learned the way to approach meditation that immediately got rid of that back and forth mental chatter and frustration for me. 

            I had been going about it all wrong. Meditation isn’t about the absence of thoughts. It’s about learning how to redirect your thoughts back to stillness. And breathing deeply the whole time, instead of the tense shoulders-at-your-ears shallow breathing many of us do on the daily. 

            So how does a newbie learn to develop that attitude of contemplation and stillness you might ask? 

            My first tip is this: don’t try and do too much at once. By that I mean, start with a few minutes at a time rather than setting a timer for 45 minutes. I know it doesn’t sound as enlightened or impressive, but your spiritual and mental journey isn’t a competition with anyone else. 

            Who cares how long someone else is meditating for? This is your practice. Be inspired by them, but don’t expect to have the same journey as them. 

            My next tip was the key for making meditation an enjoyable experience for me. At the start of each meditation, pick one word that you’ll use to call yourself back to stillness when your mind starts to wonder.Something like “ease” or “serenity.” Go with what comes to mind.

            You aren’t trying to abolish your thoughts entirely. Instead, you’re learning to just be and flow for a while. 

            I once had a teacher explain it like this: your mind is like a stream and all of your different thoughts are rocks at the bottom of the stream. Instead of spending time picking up each rock and examining it, you simply let the water go past as you sit there. 

            But sometimes you just can’t help it. The rock is so interesting and eye catching. So you pick it up. That’s okay. That’s where your word comes in handy. When you realize your mind has wondered, use your word to call yourself back to the present. 

            The third tip goes hand in hand with the second. If you’re finding it really hard to not focus on all the different thoughts you could be chasing, focus on your breathing. 

            Count each breath in for four, out for four. Something along those lines. 

Play around with it and find the rhythm and depth of breath that works for you. 

            When you’re focusing on your breathing, you’ll find that the mental chatter dims. Suddenly you find yourself in that state of stillness and relaxation you wanted, and you aren’t striving for it. 

            The fourth tip is for those of you who still find the idea of sitting in silence daunting. Try a guided meditation. Let someone else lead you through your practice for the day. 

            This can be especially helpful for when you want to start meditating for longer stretches of time. Or if you’re having a day where you feel mentally restless. 

            There are tons of guided meditations on youtube for all kinds of things. Maybe you want to focus on letting go of stress. Maybe you want to do inner child work. Or you want to try different deep breathing practices. 

            The point is there are endless ways to approach the practice, which enables you to continue to grow in your journey. 

            Which leads me to my last tip: remember that this is a practice. By that I mean, have grace with yourself. Realize that like any other skill, you have to cultivate it. You have to train your mind and body to do something that doesn’t always come naturally. 

            That’s okay. Take your time. Because this is a lifelong process. Over time, you’ll realize how far you’ve come and be amazed. 

            But that can only happen if you set yourself up for success by starting off with a good mindset and making it something you can stick with. 

            Then as you grow more comfortable with it, you can begin to experiment more and more. 

            If you’re a runner, you know that always training in the same way on the exact same route gets old quickly. You’re bored and the joy is gone. So you change it up and suddenly you love running again. 

            The same goes for meditation. You can add new or different things like singing bowls or staring at a candle. Sign up for classes or retreats. Meditate for longer amounts of time. But you have to lay a solid foundation first. 

            And the most important thing of all: you have to actually try it to see if it’s for you. So start small, use your breath and/or word to help you focus, try guided meditations, and above all else let yourself be a beginner.